


You Are My Sunshine

by whoredan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Character Death, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Panic Attacks, Please Don't Kill Me, in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:03:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8459368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoredan/pseuds/whoredan
Summary: "Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing."
-Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird





	

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry in advance

_“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey… You never notice, how much I love you. Please don’t take, my sunshine away.”_

 

\---

 

Oikawa was _not_ mentally healthy.

 

And he was okay with that!

 

When he _wasn’t_ panicking over a small inconvenience.

 

Before he met Iwaizumi Hajime, the brunette had no way of dealing with his attacks. There was nothing he or anyone else could do.

 

The two met on a rainy day. Oikawa was walking home without an umbrella, a newly tailored suit for a dinner party slung over his arm, protected by a thin sheet of plastic. He kept his head down and speed-walked towards his house, which- _surprise, surprise,_ \- was on the other side of town. All of a sudden, he tripped and fell- directly into the quite nice-looking arms of someone else.

 

“You alright?” he heard a deep voice say.

 

He looked up and saw what was possibly the most godlike face he had ever seen. The man’s lips were full, his nose was straight and sharp, and his green(grey?) eyes. Oh my god. Oikawa could easily get lost in them.

 

“Oi. Are you okay?” The man raised an eyebrow, snapping Oikawa out of his trance.

 

“O-oh. Um… Yeah. You’re perfectly fi- I mean, I’m perfectly fine,” he stuttered out.

 

_Wow, smooth, Oikawa._

 

The man laughed, and steadied Oikawa. He held out a hand. “Iwaizumi Hajime.”

 

_Why is this guy introducing himself to me? I don’t need to be subjected to this torture more often!_

 

“O-Oikawa. Tooru.”

 

Iwaizumi nodded. “Nice to meet you. Now, uh… Do you need a ride? I was going to get coffee, but it can wait if you do?”

 

Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “How… How do I know that you’re not just a mass murderer?”

 

_Not that I’d be_ opposed _to dying, but..._

 

“I mean, I’m not, but it’s either come with me or spend however long you have to in the rain with an expensive looking suit in your arms,” he pointed out.

 

The rational, don’t-take-rides-from-strangers side of him lost his internal battle. He shrugged and accepted.

 

-one year later-

 

Oikawa sat in his and Iwaizumi’s house, nearly hyperventilating.

 

His heart pounded. Sweat seemed to come out of his pores at the same intensity as Niagra Falls, and he was shaking so badly he couldn’t even pick up a pencil if he tried. Taking deep breaths- or trying to- he put his hands on his knees and looked down, biting his lip.

 

_You’re not gonna panic._

 

_You’re not gonna panic._

 

_You’re not-_

 

The sound of a lock clicking invaded his ears, followed by an “I’m ho- Oikawa, are you okay?”

 

Oikawa laughed shakily and shook his head.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Oikawa shook his head again, extending his arms towards Iwaizumi.

 

Hajime dropped his bag and was in front of Oikawa with a few strides, picking up the taller and placing him in his lap. He reached a hand up and ran it through the other’s hair, starting to sing.

 

_“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey… You never notice, how much I love you. Please don’t take, my sunshine away.”_

 

He continued singing the song until Oikawa’s breathing started to even out, and the grip on his shoulders loosened. When he opened the eyes he hadn’t known he had closed, he noticed that Tooru had fallen asleep and was now snoring softly on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

 

He chuckled and carried the other to bed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before tucking him in and going to make dinner.

 

\---

 

Tooru didn’t know.

 

He just _didn’t._ He _couldn’t have._

 

One day, the two of them decided to go walk to the coffee shop by their house. It was normal. They pulled on their clothes. It was normal. They stepped outside their house and locked the door, and Oikawa said goodbye to the alien decal on it. It was normal.

 

They had gotten almost the entire way there. They held hands and talked, kissed and said some _shut ups_ and _love you toos._ It was normal.

 

When the two crossed the last street, however, they heard a loud honking noise. Oikawa turned to see a car, going too fast and unable to stop due to the puddles from last night’s rain. He heard a shrill scream that he would later realize was his own, and at the last second, he was pushed back to the sidewalk forcefully.

 

He heard a loud _smack_.

 

And another scream.

 

And then silence.

 

It was quiet, except for the ringing in Oikawa’s ears. He looked down on the ground, following the trail of deep red, thinking over and over, _please don’t let it be him, anyone but him._

 

But it was.

 

Iwaizumi laid on the ground, dead.

 

Sound returned to the world as he screamed again, sprinting towards Hajime and pulling him up by the hood of his sweatshirt.

 

“Wake up, wake up, wake up, _please, you can’t just leave me, wake up, Iwa-chan, wake UP!”_

 

He was crying and screaming now, clutching the lifeless, limp form of his boyfriend in his arms.

 

His screams died out, but tears continued to fall down his face. And the next time he opened his mouth to speak, words escaped in the form of a song.

 

_“You are my sunshine… My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey… You never noticed, how much I loved you.”_

 

_“But they took, my sunshine away.”_

**Author's Note:**

> im still sorry


End file.
